Who New

I wait for a beginning
a new possibility
that I made space for
when what I was blind to
became known.

That instant in time
became light and free
the moment I saw
what I made things to mean.
My rackets aren't me.

What would grow from that space
I couldn't have guessed.
Power.
Freedom.
Pure spirit self expressed.

I am not more or different or changed
like my whole life
trying to mend
but bigger, more whole, from the heart
a transformation in the end.

And now I know with ease
when my power, freedom and peace
are being taken from me
and all I have to do
it seems...

is notice
and remember my oath.
The one I made to myself and the world
for my life and yours
of courage, integrity and love

Letting my actions and words
speak my view
listening to yours too
I find a new voice and a new ear
and I think I like it here.

I'm thinking so will you.

Action Speaks Louder than Resolutions

Many of us will resolve to exercise more in the new year, the ultimate goal being weight loss, or fitness, or just improved health.  What will make us actually exercise?  Well, making the resolution might be a start but if you want to succeed in doing something you know you want to/need to/should do, you must act.  You must act before you think.  You must overcome the inertia of the couch no matter how hard it is sucking you into its cushions and lace up the shoes and walk out the door.  So be present to the voice in your head that is distracting you and helping you put the fifteenth potato chip in your mouth.  Take a deep breath, clear your mind and get up and lace up the shoes.  Other options:  push "play" on the new yoga DVD, or the P90X you got for Christmas, roll out the exercise mat, lie down and start stretching, get on the treadmill or the bike and just start moving.  All the while, the voice might still be there, coaxing you back to the couch or the computer or the bed, but you can multitask!  You can listen and act anyway, before you are knocked unconscious.  Act first, think later.  Once you are moving, stretching, breathing, that force will take over and the voice can chatter all it wants to while you stick your tongue out at it and say "hah!  I am exercising anyway you fool!"  Nike had it right with "just do it"  but the rest of the sentence should have been, "just do it even though the voice says no because if you don't you will be a crotchety old stiff sore immobile lump that can't keep up with the joys of life because the couch has sucked you in!"  So there............make your resolutions, but after you write them down, reach over for your shoes, put them on and go for the walk, NOW!!

Holiday Healing

If there ever was a time to practice slowing down and being in the moment, it would be now, during the holidays.  The problem is that we are all so totally over scheduled that we barely have time to remember to breathe, let alone slow down.  This time of year is the ultimate opportunity for healing if we remember to take advantage of it.  People are triggered in so many different ways at this time of year and it can be stressful and tense to say the least, but what if we made this month our ultimate time to practice, noticing each thought that passes in our head, each bit of muscle tightness, each pang of guilt.  Awareness again is the key.  Once you have awareness you then have a choice to react, respond, do nothing or just feel.  The meaning of any given situation is the one you have given to it.  Start to notice, start to be aware of the thoughts and then the feeling that brings up inside your body.  Try not to label it.  Just feel it, let it be, and let it pass. 
My husband came home from work yesterday and as he walked in the door I could hear him talking on his cell phone.  "Okay mom, bye mom."  "How is your mom?"  I asked.  "What did she have to say?".  "You should have let me deal with the dog issue" my husband replied.  Immediately I felt my stomach get tighter and my shoulders rise into my ears.  This year we are supposed to travel on Christmas to Cleveland to be with Todd's family there, and this year our regular dog sitter was not able to help out.  So because my husband tends to be a procrastinator when it comes to talking with him mom about these things, I decided to write my mother-in-law an email a few days ago explaining our situation and letting her know that we would have to bring the dogs with us for our visit.  Because I already knew this was a sore subject, I expected the worst, but hoped for the best.  So now I knew it was the worst.  My husband explained to me that his mom was "irritated" about us bringing the dogs up.  So I noticed my stomach getting tighter and the desire to scream at my husband, who is actually on my side when it comes to this issue.  I noticed.  I breathed.  I breathed again.  And again.  And then I tried to explain to him how I was feeling, instead of yelling about it.  Turns out he feels the same way and we were able to exchange some words about it that made me feel connected.  Okay, this might be okay.  Right this moment, three weeks before Christmas, I can feel what is going on, breathe, talk about it, and just be with it.  It doesn't have to be solved right this second.  And it would be a waste of my precious December to worry about it for the next three weeks.  I choose awareness and I choose peace.  For now.  Now off to taekwondo class for a little kicking and punching!